Losing the Love of Your Life

by Ritzy Ritzhaupt


When you have had a profound love you are able to pick up the pieces and move forward once again. It may take a great deal of time with lots of revisiting of  what once was, but movement forward will happen. It feels as though the glow of what was is only an afterthought of what should have been.

The shock of loss leaves one spinning in a desperate attempt to find what was safe. No more are there the supporting hands of comfort. There is only the brutal reality that no one has the time or really cares what happens now that you are all alone. You must have gained enough reassurance from your union to trudge forward to make a new existence that will allow you to smile from time to time or even laugh out loud. The pain of loss will bear its marks with running tears.

Knowing you were once cherished, should bring you to a new destiny that allows you to tower over all others that walk the earth. They can only hope for a touch to soften their day or a word that will encourage them to brilliance. Where as you that have suffered the loss of a beloved, have already deliciously, devoured the knowledge that you have achieved the goal to be cherished. 

copyrighted 2016 all rights reserved

Music

by Ritzy Ritzhaupt

Music

Reaches the brain

Sad or happy

Blues, Country, Rock

Chamber or Opera

Feeds the feelings

Creates a refuge

For the soul to heal

The heart to become whole

The body to mend

The stride to lighten

A safe haven

Where emotions evolve

Lips smile

Happiness grows

Caring becomes sharing

 Copyright 2016 

All rights reserved

  

LOVE - What is it? by Ritzy Ritzhaupt

LOVE - What is it?   by Ritzy Ritzhaupt

Love

What is it?

Does it glow in the dark?

Does it speak to you?

Does it sparkle?

Does it embrace you?

Love

Captures all

Holding you

Sharing random freedom

Engulfing the total you

Camping out in your heart

Bleeding all stress

Freeing the total being

Love

Captures your flavor

Holds your heart

Mind, body and soul

Savoring each fiber of self

Love

Holds all dear

Dissolves treacherous storms

Rebels all discomfort

Streamlines the beauty of you

Making self, acceptable to self

Granting friendship at all levels

Love

Develops self

Like a newly charged battery

Engulfing each strife with ease

Growing to a new height

Love

Becomes a solid entity

All beauty glows radiantly

Solid within self

Offering others a new chance

New steps to redemption

Love

Blooms within all

Captures all in its grasp

Changing lives in one fell swoop

Blessed are all

By the beauty of the simple form of

LOVE

All right reserved 2016

Colorful Chilly Morning

Colorful Chilly Morning

24 March 2013 at 12:13

Colorful Chilly Morning
by Ritzy Ritzhaupt
Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved

A silver stillness greets the chilly morning.
Yellow, gold and brown leaves collect beneath the tress.
Protected from the cold night air
Together they hang in a colorful array of spent foliage
Proudly clinging to the trees mothering limbs
New fallen foliage decorates the ground below
Giving lively color enhances to nature’s discards 

The icy dew slips from its resting spots  
Glistening and sparkling in the morning sun
Dancing with radiant brilliance as day begins
The beauty begs the mind of the viewer
To remember and savor the treasure
For the delight of the beholder
Now and in all the years to come


It's that time of year and I needed to share as the colors danced with beautiful brilliance.  Haven't been out since the downpour... almost afraid to see how flooded I am.

DINNER AT THE BAR

From my briefcase... thought I'd post to my blog. Hope you enjoy...

Dinner At The Bar  by Ritzy Ritzhaupt

 A not so lovely Thursday had just happened to Miss Beth. She was exhausted, hungry and in desperate need of some relaxation. 

Where else, but to the local bar where she could enjoy some people watching, she thought as she parked her car over one street.

Upon entering the bar she was greeted with glad tidings from the duty bartender, she knows them all. They had started their shift at six pm and were in rare form, already a line was forming to order drinks. Miss Beth was given the last open stool at the bar by the duty bartender Paul, as she called him by his first name and rarely used his bar nickname of “Frog”. He was given that nickname because he makes you think of a little boy at play, treasuring a frog in his pocket. I know its lame, but most the staff has nicknames. Miss Beth only resorts to calling him “Frog” when he is busy and the only way he pays attention when super busy, is when he’s called by the childish name, Frog. 

“Hey, what’s good on the menu?” The oversized gent, in the slouched cowboy hat asked the cook, as he came out from behind the bar.

“Oh, Fritos, potato chips,” he blandly replied to his most obnoxious customer.

“Cookie, you have a better idea than that.” The frustrated, would be dinner shrugged with disgust. “I’m just trying to buy a meal here,” he let fly to the other patrons of the bar.

Cookie had been walking behind the bar and took the last few steps to the front door for a quick smoke break, as it closed on his reply, “Don’t need your crap today.” His eyes rolled in disgust at having to p l e a s e this customer.  He inhaled deeply, the pungent smoke from his fancy and pricey, blue cigarettes. He quickly darted around the corner of the barber shop and out of sight, as he hid in the peaceful ally.

“Don’t tell me, you had another run in with Harvey?” Luke shook his head to acknowledge the futility of Cookie trying to appease Harvey over food. “Geez, I think you two would learn by now. Can’t you just let him order?”

“It’d be fine if he’d just order. No, he’s got to demand extras. You know, like the Linda salad. I could kill that girl for coming up with that god damn salad. It’s got ta have avocado slices and extra onions on the damn thing. We’re just a bar not a four star restaurant!” Cookie puffed on his cigarette, showing his misshapen front teeth, as he growled in disgust. Watching Cookie pace as he puffed, made it truly hard to belief that he had been one heck of a woman in his six inch heels on Halloween. The spaghetti straps and ponytail almost fooled patrons, until he turned around revealing his beard. 

Harvey adjusted his cowboy hat as he taped his earpiece to answer an incoming call. “No, man that’s fixed, your computer is ready to use. Yup, did that too. Okay. Yes, call me if you have trouble.” He owned his own business repairing and making work, outdated computers for small businesses, individuals and a couple of private schools. He sold new package deals too. They included fully loaded computers with whatever a company or person required. A majority of his costumers were befuddled by today's technologically and constantly needed to be walked through the logging on process by Harvey.

He sat back in his stool, grateful for the back and arms that made it so comfortable. He allowed his shoes to slip to the floor and rested his stocking feet on the metal rail. In full comfort, he intently studied the blue paper menu, as if seeing it for the first time.

He set his empty Bud Light down sideways on the bar and gave it a little spin. This was his special signal, he was ready for another. The bartender’s kept track on his coaster with pen marks, so they could easily see how many he had, it was vital to keep track. He’d order the maximum number of drinks he’d consume for the night. He always paid with cash, making a person wonder, if he was hiding out from someone. A wad of bills would appear just before Happy Hour ended, to get cheaper prices. The bartenders delivered one beer at a time, keeping the rest cold until he was ready for another brew.  

Starlite, the bouncy bartender, asked him for his dinner order, as she tossed his dead bottle in the recycle bin and popped the lid off a fresh brew.  She was the thinnest woman he had ever seen, maybe a size one or two, but she had a set of sisters that made every man stare. Harvey took in the full view with pleasure. He continued to gaze as she marked his coaster with another hash mark. 

Oh, here it comes… wait… Oh, he could have shot Bobby for walking in just then, Harvey held his breath. Bobby got a welcoming “Hello,” from Starlite, before she continued to bend lower, unloading the dishwasher. 

He was sure his heart would stop beating or beat so fast he’d need the aid car. The view was easily worth the wait, big lushes melons… He had to do something before he burst. “Girl, I’m gonna have the double stack burger. Leave off the pickle, lightly salted fries and some ranch. I’d really like a little horseradish on the side.

Miss Beth slid up behind him as he continued to give his order and her breast touched his back. 

Harvey gave a throaty, “Mmmmm,” as he leaned back, pressing into her, to see who was being so generous with their welcoming gesture. “Hey girl, how’s it going?” He quipped with the sheer pleasure of feeling up a woman without having to do a thing.

“Sweet,” she grinned devilishly, she knew he had enjoyed the contact, as she adjusted the stool next to him, persuading her girth into the space. Dissatisfied by how she was placed, she dismounted, moved the stool and climbed up again. 

The second bartender, Chase, deepened his smile as he watched her commandeer the bar. Miss Beth didn’t do a thing but act natural. She had no clue of the power she held over the men. It made him chuckle as he placed her shot of Rockin’ Rye in a big glass. She had explained to him, “It allows walking around room and I never lose a drop.” He placed a large glass of ice water with a slice of lemon next to her liquor. He knew he’d be filling up that glass of ice water a few more times, before she came close to drinking the rye. Boy, can she nurse a drink… Chase thought, as she took a tiny sip of the rye and a large swallow of water.

When he’d first started working at the bar, she drew him close and said, “We can be friends as long as you understand you never, ever remove my liquor glass until I say I’m done with it, even if it looks empty. And keep my water filled. You take care me, I take care you, got it?” She asked with a stern stare giving him her directions for proper service, with the tenor of an old schoolmarm instructing her distracted students.

“Yes, mama,” Chase answered looking solemn, as thought he’d been given an order by the President himself.   

“Thank you,” She sweetly said with all the warmth his mom would give. It made him feel as though he should dive in for a good sized hug, but he restrained himself. He wasn’t sure he’d get punched by the capable older woman. She cocked her head as she told him, “Chase you have the most divine dimples I’ve ever seen… mm, mm, mm,” she sighed. 

He was dazzled by her words and declared right then and there, to be a fan of the blunt, Miss Beth.

“Hey, Dragman,” she said sending a wave and a wink to the big biker at the end of the bar, once she had comfortably reseated herself.

He was standing, meticulously peeling the label off his soon to be empty beer bottle, being careful to keep it in tack. He stacked it with three other labels. Each was neatly rolled into a skinny tube from beers he’d previously downed. “Where you been hiding? Haven’t seen you around for some time?” An overly abundant amount of facial hair danced as he talked with his glasses perched on the end of his nose. He resembled Santa in stature and beard, making it hard to watch him indulge in straight shots between beers. You just knew Santa wouldn’t do such a thing. 

“Busy,” Miss Beth replied with a teasing grin and a flutter of her unpainted eyelids. She gave him her most mischievous shrug, leading his mind down a dangerous path.

Cookie stood in front of Miss Beth and asked, “You eating dinner?” 

“Yes,” She nodded seductively. This was Miss Beth, clueless to the way she appeared… very sexual. He leaned in closer draping his right arm all the way across the bar, separating her and Harvey, putting his back to him, he asked in a lowered voice, “Do you think you’d enjoy some ribs I made, tender and sweet?” Only a few knew, he’d picked up something special to prepare food for the crew and a few invited patrons.

“I love pork ribs… yummy.” She said, in a whisper with exaggerated gestures.  “Yes, p-l-e-a-s-e.” as she stretched her chin in the air making it seem very luscious, like part of a sex act.

Harvey leaned over whispering, “He’s in love with you, you know?” He really wanted to know how she got such service. “Geez,” he muttered as he stood to go outside. He could hear her explosive gaffs of contagious laughter, even standing out on the sidewalk.

Minutes later Cookie set a hot plate of tender ribs in front of the heartily laughing Miss Beth. One bite told her they were superb! Whatever he made she’d eat. She motioned for Chase to come over. “Put whatever Cookie wants to drink on my tab.”

The men watched her devour the ribs, licking sauce from the side of her mouth with pleasurable, mmms added. She slowly licked each finger with heavenly gusto. The men were intent on watching her as they created their own sexual fantasies. They never noticed Chase watching the whole scene play out. He only hoped the owner had the surveillance cameras rolling as he normally did, since the eating process made for a killer scene. 

Straight shots of liquor were ordered by all the men at the bar as they continued to gap. Their mouths hung open as she clean each bone of its meat. She sucked each rib of the thick, red, rich sauce with an added, 'Mmmm". Some even licked their lips as they took in her display.

Miss Beth certainly knows how to enjoy her food, thought Chase, as he chuckled to himself.

Copyright 2015 all rights reserved
 

The Stream of Life

The Stream of Life
by Ritzy Ritzhaupt

Late in life
One realizes 
Need for repair

Fishes swim 
Unhindered up stream
Gracefully darting
Between life and death

Humans run around
Wildly exclaiming demands

Life tumbles and bounces
Deflates the strong
Dismantles the frigntened
Kicks the weak
Starves the hopeless

Screams for change
Process more
Make us better

Stronger we stand 
Closer we bind
Together as one

Showing the way 
Sharing by all
Making everyone stronger

Paying our dues
Visitors welcome to
Explore our path
Stifling no one

These United States
Once again we
Will be strong!

Copyright 2015 all rights reserved


 

Tears of Disbelief (c) January 5, 2015

Tears of Disbelief

by Ritzy Rithaupt

Tears, tears, so many tears

How can this be?

When only happiness is wanted

The blissful stuff that makes

The light shine from your eyes

As you laugh and giggle, filled with joy

The pain comes strong stomping on your heart

Bouncing up and down within your chest

Screaming for release, for something to alter

To bring back the happy times

The change greets you daily

The loss beats you more than any other experience

By any living thing

The empty chair you tried to cover

Using heaps of clothing, books, papers and boxes

Alas, it is still a huge empty chair

Glaring back strangely at the loss of being happy

The gentle one that filled that chair with human emotions:

Love, caring, desire, friendship, sharing and

Always being there for you is now

Gone, gone, gone, gone

The finality overwhelms ones soul, as though

Being smacked by a friends hand across the face

The sting of their fingers makes bright red marks

Setting the stage for the emptiness

Abandoned once again, the path has narrowed

Allowing only one to create happiness out of darkness

The task is harrowing beyond one’s belief

The desire to be strong is weakening

The desire to falter is overwhelming

Strength comes from within the marrow

Pushing one down the path of life

Resisting and kicking

The passing of time at

The loss of a dearly beloved

copyrighted January 5, 2015 All Rights Reserved

I Killed Her - a short story by Rizy Ritzhaupt

   I Killed Her                                                                

      by Ritzy Ritzhaupt  2014 ©

“I know I’m guilty. Yes, I killed her­­­­”, she confessed to the officer with big hand gestures.

“I wanted her out of my life. She was a problem, a huge pain in my ass! She caused me tons of extra work”, she slurred as though in a fog­. Like a spinning top when it ends, she toppled into the nearest chair, finally sitting but far from calm as she continued to fidget in her chair.

.

“Mmmmm,” the detective said as he watched her for a moment, before he went into the other room for coffee. “Would you like a cup of coffee, ah…?”  he directed to the woman that had just confessed, as she stared blankly at the detective.

“Coffee?” she asked as though on another planet, appearing muddled, trying to hide her emotions. “Coffee, not too hot with two sugars,” she requested. “Linda,” she told him her name. He motioned for another officer to get the coffee.

“Okay Linda, go over what happened and don’t leave anything out.” He instructed, giving her the fresh cup of coffee as he sat down across from her. 

“She was there, in front of the full length mirror, when I entered my bedroom.”

“Who was there, in front of the mirror?” he cocked his head to listen closer to her response.

“Maryanne, she was wearing my new evening gown!” she leaned forward to express her shock at the woman entering her home uninvited, as she continued. “I had just bought it to wear to my college reunion. My new dress!” she yelled, all her words ran together with hardly a breath between, as she reared up on the edge of her chair!

“Who is Maryanne? And then what happened?” he nudged her memory.

“She turned to face me”, Linda paused, sucking air into her deprived lungs, as her eyes were wide and dazed, as though in disbelief. She felt she was at the scene of the crime as it played out in her mind’s eye. “She laughed at me… she, she stood there and laughed at me as she made the dress twirl around. She laughed.” Linda mumbled as she sobbed, rising, she fell toward him. He grabbed her, before she crumpled to the floor and gently placed her back in her chair.

“Okay. Than what happened Linda?” he encouraged in a softer voice, encouraging her to tell more.

“Maryanne didn’t stop.” She focused her eyes just above his head, as she slowly formed each word, as though she was once again in the same room with Maryanne.

“Oh”, he empathized as he moved closer, watching her facial expressions.

 “It’s my dream! My dress! My life! I had to make her stop! I had to!” Linda faintly screamed, tearing at her clothes as she lunged toward him, pounding her fist on his chest.as she wanted to push him away.

“Okay, okay,” the detective, said as he tried to get her to reveal more without hitting him.

“What did you do next?” he continued.

“I plunged the knife into her heart!” she sobbed, wringing her hands.

“The knife?” he asked, glancing at the other officer with a questioning look.

“Yes, the knife. I stabbed her with the damn knife! I stabbed her, again and again. Each time I shoved it deeper and deeper. I thought it would break off but it didn’t.” She stared, wide eyed with glee as the scene replayed out in her minds-eye. It was as though Maryanne seemed to fade into the distance. She’ll never bother me again. She mumbled, as she stared blankly at the detective, the bitch is gone. She expressed to him, in soft heated words.

“Where did you get the knife?”

“I don’t know… it was in my hand!” she yelled distracted.

“Mmmm,” escaped from his lips as he continued to listen.

“I… ah, I… ah, I don’t know,” she looked at him stunned by what she said as she tried to remember where she had gotten the knife. “I don’t know. I killed her, I killed her”, she sobbed in distress, looking at her hands as though they were the enemy.

“You killed her?” He stared at the other officer shrugging his shoulders. “And then what did you do? Did you leave? Did you try to clean up the mess?

“The mess, yes, the mess, it was everywhere. No, I left the mess.”

“What did you do with Maryanne’s body?” he calmly asked Linda.

“I… I… I don’t… remember, I don’t know.”

A uniformed police officer entered the room shaking his head as he handed the investigator a note with Linda’s address across the top.

The note read, “No body – No blood – Large butcher knife – One shredded party dress”. He handed the note back. All the officers took turns reading the message; some revealed a slight snicker, holding back any sound.

“Are you sure Maryanne was dead?” he asked frowning as he visualized the note.

“She’s dead… she’s dead… yes, she’s dead!” the words dripped from her lips as though drops of blood slipped between them, in total frustration she wrenched the words from her mouth.

“How many times did you stab her?” He shrugged to the other officers viewing the interrogation through the large mirror, as he spoke. They all had become transfixed by the woman’s confession.

“Six, ten times, lots, I don’t remember exactly,” she mumbled counting on her fingers, trying to keep track of her slashing stabs.

“ Hmmmm… Where was this blood?”  He hoped for some answers that made sense.

“I told you, it was everywhere.” Her sigh, could be heard around the room

“Everywhere?” the officer repeated with a raised eyebrow of doubt.

“Her blood was on the bed, the mirror, the floor, the dress, everything was covered”, she exclaimed as she smacked her hands on the table, confused by their continued questions. She wondered if they were blind and couldn’t see Maryanne’s blood, as they kept pushing her for more information.

“Did you wash your hands after you stabbed Maryanne?” His eyes crinkled in total disbelief. He glanced into the mirror acknowledging the other officers. He was sure they also sighed with disbelief at Linda’s story.

“Yes, I washed my hands. No, I don’t… remember. They, were clean, yes, I washed them. There was blood everywhere. I killed her. I killed Maryanne, she’s gone.” She clutched at her heart as she spoke, realizing the truth once again, she had killed Maryanne!

“Did you wash the blood off the knife?”

“I don’t remember what I did with the knife!” she whined, confused by the same questions.

“How big was the knife?”

“How big?” She acted exasperated, fidgeting, “I don’t know” she spit out, revealing her frustration.

“Did you put the knife by the dress?”

“I don’t remember. I stabbed her with a knife many times. I killed Maryanne and she’ll never come back. She is gone forever more. Gone, do you understand?” she yelled annoyed at his repeated stupid questions!

“If she’s dead, than where did her body go and all the blood?” the investigator asked as he leaned over her.

Linda lowered herself back into the chair and flopped forward. Resting her head on her arms, she sobbed. Heavy exhausted sobs making her back heave up and down. In a daze, she, herself become Maryanne and then herself and her weary and wondering brain. Exhaustion left her limp in her chair as she softly said, “I murdered her”.

The detective left the interrogation room as Linda continued to sob. He walked over to the over detectives that had also been watching the interview.  He sent a female detective to bring Linda some tissues and help calm her down. He wanted to know what other detectives viewing them thought had happened

           “What do you think happened? What did she do with the body? Who is Maryanne? Got to get a last name, I have no idea who Maryanne is or if she’s even real.” He questioned as he asked the other officers for their input.

           “I think we need the psychologist to check her out. No blood found, that is very unusual.”  The observant female detective words filled the room as she spoke.

“So, it had to be there in her room… did she kill her somewhere else?”  Pent up thoughts were spoken from others, that had also viewed the exchange.