I come to with
water lapping into my nose and mouth. I
try to shake myself or rise up, but I am unable to move. It feels like someone has their foot in my
back. I want to panic but I have no
energy left to do even that little task.
“Turn your head
girl,” I tell myself. That does not
work. I must get up and now!
“Help,” I choke
out of a partially filled mouth with what seems to be salty, warm ocean
water. Am I in my Pacific
Ocean? Get up girl, I tell myself and strain as I pull my knees up from
behind me. They are very heavy, oh, so very heavy. Maybe I will just go back to sleep.
“Get up now!” Scream in my head. I keep trying to get up but fail. It seems there is a heavy weight on
me. Pulling at the weight it shifts and moves
around. I realize it is a parachute harness
strapped around me. My body is clad only
in a swimsuit.
“Wait! This is not my body. This is not my body!” I scream over and over. I’m shaking unable to come to terms with the
thought I am encased in flesh that is not mine!
“Wait, is this even me?” I
yell. The confusion is
overwhelming. My arms have a unusual
feeling. They are not heavy enough to be
MY ARMS! My hands do not appear to be
mine they are lacking age spots and are smaller!
I panic and clumsily unclasp the harness to be able to inspect this body. “I’m not all here! Where did the rest of me go?” I let my hands rove over my shape. I even look inside my swimsuit.
Oh, god! Yes, I am still a woman.
I can feel every part of me, but wait,
I’m bronze, not white, not my normal stark white. Where am I?
No, what has happened to ME? Fear and panic wash over me as I gulp chunks of air, that don't seem to reach my lungs. What has happened? This is not right!
I look up and see a very surreal sky with all the normal markings but on the horizon,
I see what might be a straight black line made by a black pen or painted with a
fine paintbrush, loaded with black paint. My panic rises into my throat
but I calm myself down with more self-talk. I must
be okay since I can breathe and nothing is broken. Have no idea where the real me has
gone. For now, I realize I am here and alive. I remind myself to keep moving forward, one foot at a time.
The beach is beautiful and the sun is bright and warm as I walk along the
shore. I bend down to drag my very
elegant hand in the bubbly foam as the ocean laps onto the shore of the
exquisite beach were each grain of sand is absolutely stunning.
Feeling rather lightheaded, I stretch my frame out and reach for the sky as I
inhale. Sucking in the delicious
aroma of exotic flowers entrenched with all the vibrant fragrance of a
fabulous life. The greens of the
vegetation are many fold and enrich my vision as I scan my new area. Most of the leaves are gigantic with little
creatures living on the underneath side.
The colors, the spaciousness, the pure elegance and aroma make me
dizzy. I stagger as I take it all in;
not even missing my lack of extra weight or misshapen hands weathered by time. I am now a skinny waif with rib bones
exposed, almost as a badge of extraordinary beauty and the sacrifices I have
surrendered to, while being the person everyone so desires in a proper woman.
I step onto the
first lava rocks of the cove as I walk.
They are warm to the touch from the radiant sun glaring overhead. I can see little crabs darting in and out
beneath the rocks that clutter this area of the shore. They run as a wave slips into their hiding
place and scurry around, as though on important business. Climbing higher for a better view to see the horizon
that resembles a thicker black line from my position on top of the rocks. Looking up, the clouds do not seem to be
moving, but a little breeze ruffles the foliage from time to time. Climbing higher I become more light
headed. Dizziness overcomes me as I
stagger and set myself down on a scooped out area in the mound of rocks. I lay my head back and inhale deeply and my
eyes close as my ravenous frame crumbles against the rocks.
Peeking out from
around the foliage appears a small band of monkeys. They approach my shape
picking through my hair as they reach for my fingers to smell them. The largest monkey sits on my chest and
starts to jump up and down.
“Wake up! Wake up Julie! JULIE, JULIE WAKE UP!”
by Ritzy Ritzhaupt
Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
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